My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
