we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
