ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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