I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
