yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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