dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
