i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
