I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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