so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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