Non-Jews are for practice
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
