He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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