i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
