i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
