I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
