Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
