She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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