I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
