i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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