I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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