Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
