Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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