yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
