First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
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They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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