I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
be right there i have to get my cape
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
