Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
