I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
