It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
