is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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