ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it because I queefed?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
