So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
