i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish i was in the wii world.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
