Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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