the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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