This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
FUCK WHALES
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
