You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Holy shit dude........stairs
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
