Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
