I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
