I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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