i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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