If that was your dad, he is hot
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I love having hate sex.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
