I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
