would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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