I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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