Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
