you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
