1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
