She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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