im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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