You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
