I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
