I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
