we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
