NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
