I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
