my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
