i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
